dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
