Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
How naked do you want me to be?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
