I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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