It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
He shit in the fireplace
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
