he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
