it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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