I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
