you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Your cock deserves a montage
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
