Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
