when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I wish you could order shots online.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Randomize
