he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
