Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Randomize
