Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize