True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
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