Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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