Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize