Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
