If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
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