I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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