I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
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