Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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