no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
