2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Why are your pants in the freezer?
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
