kristin has been a bad kristin
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
