Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
farters have to be the big spoon...
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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