yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
