I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
