i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
