Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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