i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
