Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Randomize
