the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize