We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
