Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
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