he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
i think i have herpe
just one?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
where are my eyebrows?
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