Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
