it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
