i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
