it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
did you just send me my own nude
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
