note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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