If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize