apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
