I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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