next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
