I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
