Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
