I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Come see our sink grown plant.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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