at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
