i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Randomize
