Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
