if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Randomize
