The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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