As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
