Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
