when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize