Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
