I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
