Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
i came on her dog
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
My butt remains clenched, sir.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
