That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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