Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Randomize