I puked a lego.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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