whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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