She just used a chaser for red wine.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
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