I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
