Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
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