it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
