I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
