All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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