im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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