all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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